


I Just Want You to be Happy

by Sini333



Series: JohnLock One-Shots [5]
Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, johnlock - Fandom
Genre: Asexual Sherlock, Biromantic/Hetrosexual John Watson, Established Johnlock, M/M, Sherlock is bad at relationships, overthinking Sherlock, poor Greg, this is why they need to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sini333/pseuds/Sini333
Summary: John and Sherlock have been dating for a while, and Sherlock starts to overthink. All he wants is for John to be happy.





	I Just Want You to be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> So... It is one of my aspirations to change how the LGBTQ+ community is portrayed in media and the public eye. This is how I am going to start, by writing stories where people fall under the LGBTQ+ banner are written properly and not under any stereotypes. I really hope this story fits my own criteria. And I hope you like it!!! Enjoy <3
> 
> *In case you are wondering, in this story, John is Biromantic/Heterosexual, while Sherlock is Asexual. So they are together, but they do not have sex.*

"You're asking me for relationship advice?" Sherlock rolled his eyes, already irritated with the conversation. Talking with Gavin was always tedious, but he had been married and was now in a relationship with Mycroft, so that made him the leading expert on relationships. "I didn't even know you were with anyone-"

"Of course you didn't, you are horrendously unobservant-"

"Oi! You want my help?" Sherlock snapped his jaw shut, nodding reluctantly. "'Okay, what is her name?"

"It's John." Lestrade chocked on his coffee, coughing violently as Sherlock fidgeted awkwardly. He knew the conversation that was about to happen, and had been dreading it.

"You and John?" Lestrade croaked his eyes wide as he clearly struggled to process the new information. Sherlock nodded, playing with the lid on his coffee cup. "I thought-"

"What? That John can do better?"

"No, nothing like that. I just thought that he isn't gay, and you don't feel things like that."

"John isn't gay, and I am asexual."

"So he's bi?"

"Biromantic and heterosexual."

"What does that mean?" Sherlock sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He hated trying to explain his and John's relationship to people, as very few people could wrap their minds around it.

"It means that he can have romantic feelings for either sex, but he only feels a sexual attraction for women." Greg was quiet for a moment, and Sherlock felt his irritation level soften slightly. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"So, is it like an open relationship kind of thing?" Sherlock furrowed his brow, the question sending a flare of confusion through his mind. "I mean, you're ace, right?" Sherlock nodded, trying to figure out where the other man was going with his thought process. "So you don't like sex, but John does?"

"What are you trying to ask, Geoffrey?" Lestrade flushed, rubbing the back of his neck and shifting uncomfortably. "I don't feel the urge or need to have sex, whereas John only feels sexually attracted to women- oh." Lestrade's vague questions suddenly clicked in the back of Sherlock's mind, and he swallowed thickly at the thought of John being unsatisfied in their relationship.

"Hey, I'm sorry Mate, I didn't mean to upset you-"

"Do you think John is unhappy?" Lestrade somehow managed to look even more uncomfortable as he patted the back of Sherlock's shoulder.

"I don't know Sherlock, maybe you should ask him?"   
  
  
  
  
  


"John?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you happy?" Sherlock heard John's tired sigh and felt the mattress shift beside him as the other man turned to face him.

"At the moment, not particularly." Sherlock glared up at the ceiling, silently cursing himself for ever talking to Lestrade. He had tried to erase the thought, cleanse his mind palace of it, but he couldn't. That nasty voice in the back of his mind, the one that reminded him of every failure, kept repeating the words, trying to make them real.  _John is miserable. He wants more and you're too scared to give it to him. He going to leave you for some pretty little whore-_

"Would sex make it better?" Sherlock felt the bed shift again and slammed his eyes shut, not quite ready to meet John's eyes.

"Sherlock-"

"Because I've done some research, and everything I've read says that just because I don't feel the need for sex, doesn't mean I can't enjoy it when I'm with someone I care about-"

"Sherlock-"

"-and I may not know anything about sex, but I'm a fast learner-" His sentence was cut off by John's lips pressing against his own, shutting his mind off for a few moments, and letting him re-focus on John.

He blinked his eyes open, finding John propped on his elbow and grinning sleepily down at him.

"Hey." John whispered, brushing a stray curl out of his eyes. "What's going on, Love? Where is all of this coming from?"

"Lestrade asked-"

"Greg's doesn't understand us."

"But you said you were unhappy-"

"Yeah, because you woke me up at three in the morning to ask if I was happy." Sherlock blushed, avoiding John's gaze and picking at the edge of his blanket. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I just want you to be happy." John rolled his eyes, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Sherlock's lips, smiling fondly when he pulled away.

"I am happy, you silly git." He whispered softly, nuzzling his nose along Sherlock's cheek, barely stifling a yawn. "Are you happy, Love?" Sherlock pressed up, catching John's lips in a firm kiss.

"Of course I'm happy John. I'm not the one that needs sex." John laughed, pushing at Sherlock's shoulder and flopping onto his back, yawning again.

"I don't need sex. I need sleep." Sherlock chuckled and curled up to his boyfriend's side, nuzzling against his neck and trying to ignore the nagging feeling still hovering in the back of his mind. "Goodnight Love. We can talk more in the morning, alright?"

"Good night John."   
  
  
  
  
  


"How not good would it be if I brought a girl home for John?" Lestrade choked on his coffee, glaring at Sherlock as he fought to expel the hot liquid from his airway.

"Jesus Mate, you need to stop that."

"Stop what?" Lestrade rolled his eyes, leading Sherlock into his office and closing the door.

"Why are you asking me if you should bring a girl home for John?"

"You're the leading expert on relationships." Lestrade sighed heavily, sitting back in his chair and rubbing his hands over his face. Sherlock took a seat across from the DI, the knot that had been forming in his stomach tightening further. "This is all new to me and I don't want to mess it up."

"Alright," Lestrade sighed again, looking nearly as uncomfortable as Sherlock felt. "So, what does John think about this?"

"Well, I'm sure he will be fine with it-"

"You haven't asked him?"

"I offered him myself last night, but he turned me down, so I thought the next logical step would be to find someone that fit his desires-"

"No." Sherlock blanched at the harshness of Gavin's tone, blinking uncertainly at the older man. "You need to talk to him, sit down and discuss this like adults."

"But-"

"No buts Sherlock, you can't just throw women at him, and hope he will be okay with it." Sherlock chewed at his bottom lip and pulled at a loose thread on his sleeve. "Have you thought about how you would feel about this?" Sherlock sent an irritated glare at George, rolling his eyes and resisting the urge to pout.

"Of course I have-"

"So you would be totally fine with sleeping alone at night, knowing that John is off somewhere, fucking some random woman, instead of lying next to you?" Nausea swept through Sherlock's body and he shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to think about that.

"If it makes John happy-"

"Bullshit." Sherlock flushed, glaring at the floor between his feet. "Listen, yours and John's sex life is none of my business, and frankly I really don't want to know, but I'm telling you it's a bad idea." Sherlock felt his chest tighten unpleasantly and he blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears from falling. He heard Lestrade stand and walk around to stand next to Sherlock, gripping his shoulder tightly, trying to comfort him.

"I-I just want him to be happy."

"I know Mate, but it won't matter if John is happy if you're miserable. Talk to him, find something that will work for both of you." Sherlock nodded, his mind spinning as he pushed himself out of the chair, thanking Lestrade and leaving New Scotland Yard.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


John made his way up the stairs, quietly cursing Sherlock and his unwillingness to help with the shopping.

"Sherlock? Please tell me you cleared off the counter like I asked-" John froze in the doorway, forcing a polite smile on his face as his eyes landed on the woman sitting across from Sherlock. "Oh, you didn't tell me we had a client." The woman ran her eyes over John's body, causing a flush to rise along his chest and neck.

"She's not a client, John." The little voice at the back of his mind reminded him of what Sherlock had talked about the other night. "This is Brittany." The woman stood, stalking closer to John, causing him to back into the kitchen, dropping the bags onto the table and shifting uncomfortably as Brittany pressed closer, nearly pushing him against the counter.

"You're right, he is attractive." John felt his cheeks burn as he found himself pinned against the counter, Brittany pressing against his front and leaning in to latch onto his ear.

He should have loved it, an attractive woman was attempting to snog him senseless against the kitchen counter, and his boyfriend was apparently fine with it.

But all he could focus on was the sound of their bedroom door closing as Sherlock fled.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As soon as Brittany had started kissing John, Sherlock felt his stomach roll unpleasantly. He shot out of his chair and hurried to his room, closing the door behind him.

His chest heaved painfully and he tugged at his curls, but the action sent an image of John tugging her hair spiraling across his mind and he felt a fresh wave of nausea crash over him.

It wasn't that he wished to be in her shoes, John didn't want him like that and Sherlock was fine with it, he hated the thought of John taking his pleasure from someone else. He didn't like sharing.

He just wanted John to be happy.

He threw himself onto the bed, feeling a violent sob welling in his chest as he clung to John's pillow. Gavin had been right, he shouldn't have done this. But it was too late to turn back now, so he crawled under the sheets and let himself slip into his pain-fueled tears.   
  
  
  
  
  


A warm, firm weight pressed against his back, and a familiar scent pulled him from his mind.

"J-John?"

"Hey Love." Sherlock turned to face the other man, trying to determine how long he had been crying. "Brittany's gone." Sherlock nodded, the nausea returning.

"Did you enjoy her?" John shook his head, and in the fading light, Sherlock thought he saw tears in his boyfriend's eyes. "Why not? She assured me that she was very good at a variety of things-"

"I didn't sleep with her, Sherlock." John's voice was rough and Sherlock could hear the pain as he spoke. "Why would you think I wanted that?" Sherlock felt fresh tears start to fall and he covered his face in his hands.

"I-I wanted you to be-"

"If you say happy, I'm going to have to swat you." Sherlock pulled back, confusion filling his mind at the frustration he heard in his boyfriend's tone.

"I-I don't-"

"I told you the other night, I am happy. You make me happy, I don't need anyone else for that."

"But it's been-" John pressed a finger against Sherlock's lips, his face a mix of frustration and pain that made Sherlock's chest ache.

"I don't care. I won't lie to you Love, there are some days I miss sex, but then I see you sitting there, playing with whatever dead thing Molly has supplied you with," John brushed a hair out of Sherlock's eyes, his own a mix of pain and love. "I don't need any more than what we have. I don't need some random woman to come in and get me off, I can do that myself." Sherlock blushed, remembering the one time, at the beginning of their relationship, when he had accidentally burst into the bathroom on John.

"Yes, I am aware of that." They laughed softly, remembering the embarrassment and confusion the incident had brought about. "But everything I've ever read says that masturbation is no where near as pleasurable as actual sex." John leaned in closer and pressed a soft kiss to Sherlock's forehead, pulling him close and wrapping him in his arms.

"It's not, but it's less work, and you don't have to worry about all the risks." John pulled back, carding his fingers through Sherlock's hair and smiling softly. "I love you Sherlock, and I don't want anyone else. I'm happy with dating you, and rubbing off in the shower." Sherlock blushed and leaned in, closing the space between them with a gentle kiss.

"Do you think that maybe one day you would want me like that?" John shrugged, rolling onto his back and tugging Sherlock close to his side.

"I really don't know Love. I won't lie and say the thought turns me off, but in the same breath, it also doesn't really do a whole lot for me either." Sherlock sighed happily as John lifted his chin and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Maybe one day, when we are both ready, we can try it. Sound good?" Sherlock nodded, kissing John softly once more before settling down against the older man's side.

"I love you John."

"I love you too Babe."


End file.
